One month down + Progress picture

I can't believe it's already been a month. On the one hand it seems like it couldn't possibly have been that long ago - I mean wasn't I just hobbling around in pain? On the other hand life seems so relatively 'normal' now that it feels like it's been longer than that.

So how am I doing?

Well, first, I'm down a total of 27 pounds since I walked into the hospital on 9/18/14. That brings my total weight loss for 2014 (so far) to a grand total of 64lbs. The odd thing is I've noticed a bigger change in my body during the last 27lbs than I did during the previous 37lbs - but such is the reality of weight loss. At 4 weeks out I'm expecting to hit a stall any day now - and while I'm not looking forward to it, at least I think I'm mentally prepared. I still haven't taken my measurements but I am tracking my physical changes based on how clothes are fitting.

Speaking of clothes - I now have more than 1 pair of jeans that I can wear and more than 2 shirts. This is an especially good thing considering we're coming into the cooler weather. I'm still not fitting into all of my jeans the way I want to - but I can tell I'm getting there. I can also comfortably wear Ray's t-shirts. I know that for most wives that sounds like a silly achievement to be celebrating - but when your husband's shirts have always been too tight on you, it's kind of a big deal. I discovered they fit about a week ago when I was running out of the house to get Oliver to school on time. I threw one on and realized it was baggy. Since then I've worn a couple more and Ray's started hiding them from me. :) I can't honestly say that I've gone down a size yet but I can say that things are fitting more comfortably.

My pain level is pretty much back to pre-op - meaning I'm just dealing with my normal aches and pains. They're a little more severe because I'm not able to take my Aleve yet - but I'm pushing through it and making due. I know I'll be back on the Aleve in the next few weeks, but I'm trying to hold off for as long as possible to give my new stomach a chance to heal some more. Aside from that, I don't have much pain left over from surgery which is awesome.

Eating is going okay. I'll be honest, sometimes it doesn't feel like I had surgery. Not that I've sat down and eaten an entire - well, anything other than a cup of broth - but I don't feel as different as I thought I would. Now my body does do a good job of reminding me that the plumbing is working a bit different, especially when I'm not mindfully eating. That's probably my biggest challenge right now - especially if I'm not able to sit at a table and focus on eating. I'm working on it though. I'm still doing protein shakes - 1 to 2 per day for the moment, though I'm hoping to bump it back up to 3 by the end of the month. I'm also eating more 'real' food - like eggs, hamburger, chicken, deli turkey meat, etc. So far so good - no issues. I'm DYING to try coffee, but haven't gotten up the nerve yet. Mostly I'm worried about what it'll do to my stomach. Oh and I'd love a salad or just a plate of crunchy veggies. Those are still several weeks away (if not several months), which makes me a little sad, but I know they'll be something I can eventually eat (some of).

Last but not least, my husband had his surgery this week. As I predicted, he's the problem child. First there was a huge challenge getting his pain under control in the hospital. And by challenge, I mean they failed horribly and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. He's extremely resistant to narcotics and other pain relief methods, so even 2mg of their strongest stuff barely took his pain level down below a 7. I was highly frustrated. Then, when that didn't work, they gave him weaker stuff that actually keeps him awake. I was happy to get him home and be able to control his medication and give him something to help him sleep. He's having a lot more pain and nausea issues than I did - which we expected as he had a more sensitive stomach to begin with. So far he's managed to drink water, a bit of tea and eat a little jello. I'd really like to get some broth in him but he says it all tastes too sweet or salty. Again - the complete opposite of me. Nothing has really tasted off - though some things can seem a bit heavy on the salt.

It sucks seeing him in pain and struggling more than I did - but knowing I can help him makes it a little easier.

So now we're both on this journey together - here's to what the future holds. In the meantime - here's a look at how far I've come since this started:

BEFORE - 9.18.14

- 25lbs - 10.16.14

-25lbs - 10.18.14

BEFORE - 9.18.14

Life on the Dark Side + a few milestones

Today marks 3 weeks since my surgery. I never meant to be so silent, but between trying to recover and getting back to life as usual (Mom's don't get sick days) I've been too tired to do much writing or recording.

Week 1 was probably the hardest. I was still in pain - both from the surgery and my back due to sleeping in ungodly positions. I was exhausted because I wasn't sleeping through the night yet and I was back to work by Day 6. By day 8, it was pretty much back to business as usual - with the exception of having to cook for the kids and trying not to have to carry the baby. During this time my stomach was doing fine, but I was getting very tired of broths. I was actually looking forward to my first protein shake. The only thing I was having trouble with (and honestly still am) was taking my meds. By the time I'd get most of them down I'd feel overfilled from the water. This isn't so great when you're supposed to be taking 12 multi-vitamins and 12 calcium pills - in addition to Tylenol and 2 prescriptions - every day.

Week 2 was definitely better and I started experimenting with different soups. I'll admit - I splurged and indulged in a couple of cream soups and I'm so glad I did. They helped break up the monotony of protein shakes and chicken bullion. I also transitioned from using Almond milk to using regular milk in my shakes. The good news is - I can still tolerate the milk. :) A lot of people who have this surgery come out lactose intolerant to some degree on the other side. For some it's temporary and for others it seems to last for the long-term. This makes me happy because it gives me some extra fat (which DS patients need) and protein with my shakes. I'll still use Almond milk (unsweetened plain or vanilla) if it's available, but it's nice to have an alternative when we run out. The pain continued to lessen and, the best part, I got to sleep in bed! I started off using a pregnancy pillow I had leftover from last year but slowly graduated down to my normal pillows. Unfortunately, I can still only lay on my right side or on my back and both positions result in me waking up in pain for one reason or another. I've also been having a hard time sleeping through the night. My normal routine seems to be that I wake up somewhere between 12am and 2am and then stay awake for at least 30 minutes (sometimes longer). This really sucks when you have to be up for the day at 4:30am AND are caffeine free.

My major accomplishment for this past week is getting back into the habit of walking Oliver to school. Prior to this week, I honestly didn't feel physically up to the 1.5mi round-trip. I might have been braver, except I have to be sure I'm back by the end of my lunch - which means my walk back has to be done in less than 20 minutes. So on Tuesday I sucked it up and took the plunge. I'm happy to say I was able to do it and even went back for round 2, when Ray walked with me to go pick him up. THAT was probably a bit much - but I'm still proud I did it and hope it starts getting easier soon.

Aside from all of that - I do have a few other triumphs to celebrate.

The first is that, for the first time since I got pregnant with Oliver, I'm below 300lbs. I've lost a total of 17lbs since surgery and a grand total of 53 since I first saw Dr. Srikanth back in July. I'm definitely proud of myself, but also frustrated. Why? Well, my pants still fit. While that's not necessarily a bad thing - I mean I NEED to wear pants - I also don't feel like there's been that big of a 'transformation' for someone that's lost over 50lbs.

Then, I put on one of Ray's t-shirts and saw a bit of what was to come. Let me explain - Ray's t-shirts are all either 3x or 4x. I've tried wearing them before, and while I fit into a 3-4x in women's clothing, his shirts were too tight on my tummy. In order to wear them, I'd have to try and stretch them out - and even then I'd look a few months pregnant. Well yesterday, in a rush to get out the door on time, I decided to grab one of his t-shirts since I'd just be driving Oliver to school. Much to my surprise, the shirt fit - not only fit, but was roomy and comfortable.

So obviously, my body IS changing - even if it's not immediately obvious when I look in the mirror or put my clothes on. I think that I'll be taking some measurements to commemorate the 1 month mark so I'll be able to keep better track of the inches I'm losing - and where.

I can honestly say that, so far, there hasn't been any buyer's remorse. I'm glad I took charge of my life and am excited to see what the next several month have in store for me.

Actually - in store for US. Ray's surgery countdown is down to 7 days and then he'll be joining me on the Dark Side. :) Can't wait until we're walking this path together - both literally and figuratively. ;)